Morphine Tablet,Oral Only, Extended Release

This medication is used to help relieve severe ongoing pain. Morphine belongs to a class of drugs known as opioid (narcotic) analgesics. It works in the brain to change how your body feels and responds to pain.

Do not use the extended-release form of morphine to relieve pain that is mild or that will go away in a few days. This medication is not for occasional ("as needed") use.

How to use Morphine Tablet,Oral Only, Extended Release

See also Warning section.

Read the Medication Guide provided by your pharmacist before you start taking morphine and each time you get a refill. If you have any questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist.

Take this medication on a regular schedule as directed by your doctor, not as needed for sudden (breakthrough) pain. Take it by mouth as directed by your doctor, usually 2 or 3 times daily (every 8 or 12 hours). You may take this drug with or without food. If you have nausea, it may help to take this drug with food. Ask your doctor or pharmacist about other ways to decrease nausea (such as lying down for 1 to 2 hours with as little head movement as possible).

Swallow the tablets whole. Do not break, crush, chew, or dissolve the tablet. Doing so can release all of the drug at once, increasing the risk of morphine overdose.

Do not pre-soak, lick, or wet the tablet before placing it in your mouth, since the tablet may swell and become sticky when wet. This could make the tablet difficult to swallow, which may lead to choking or the tablet getting stuck in your throat. If your dose is for more than one tablet, you should take one tablet at a time. Take each tablet with enough water to make sure you completely swallow it right after placing it in your mouth.

The dosage is based on your medical condition and response to treatment. Do not increase your dose or take this drug more often or for longer than prescribed, because your risk of side effects may increase. Properly stop the medication when so directed.

Before you start taking this medication, ask your doctor or pharmacist if you should stop or change how you use your other opioid medication(s). Other pain relievers (such as acetaminophen, ibuprofen) may also be prescribed. Ask your doctor or pharmacist about using morphine safely with other drugs.

If you suddenly stop using this medication, you may have withdrawal symptoms (such as restlessness, watering eyes, runny nose, nausea, sweating, muscle aches). To help prevent withdrawal, your doctor may lower your dose slowly. Withdrawal is more likely if you have used morphine for a long time or in high doses. Tell your doctor or pharmacist right away if you have withdrawal.

When this medication is used for a long time, it may not work as well. Talk with your doctor if this medication stops working well.

Though it helps many people, this medication may sometimes cause addiction. This risk may be higher if you have a substance use disorder (such as overuse of or addiction to drugs/alcohol). Take this medication exactly as prescribed to lower the risk of addiction. Ask your doctor or pharmacist for more details.

Tell your doctor if your pain lasts or gets worse.

Source: Morphine Tablet,Oral Only, Extended Release

Zydus receives final approval from the USFDA for Oxybutynin Chloride Extended-Release Tablets

Zydus Cadila has received the final approval from the USFDA to market Oxybutynin Chloride Extended-Release Tablets in the strengths of 5 mg, 10 mg, and 15mg.

The drug is used to treat symptoms of overactive bladder and urinary incontinence (urine leakage) and will be produced at the group's formulation manufacturing facility at Moraiya in Ahmedabad. The estimated sale for Oxybutynin Chloride Extended-Release Tablets is $150.9 million (Source: IMS Health, IMS National Sales Perspective Audit, MAT April 2017, extracted June 2017.

The group now has more than 120 approvals and has so far filed over 300 ANDAs since the commencement of the filing process in FY 2003-04.

Shares of CADILA HEALTHCARE LTD. was last trading in BSE at Rs.529 as compared to the previous close of Rs. 525.5. The total number of shares traded during the day was 70820 in over 1691 trades.

The stock hit an intraday high of Rs. 532.2 and intraday low of 524.05. The net turnover duri ng the day was Rs. 37331875.

Source: Zydus receives final approval from the USFDA for Oxybutynin Chloride Extended-Release Tablets

BRIEF-Cadila Healthcare says Zydus gets USFDA approval for oxybutynin chloride extended-release tablets

Cadila Healthcare Ltd:

* Says Zydus receives final approval from USFDA for oxybutynin chloride extended-release tablets Source text for Eikon: Further company coverage:

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Source: BRIEF-Cadila Healthcare says Zydus gets USFDA approval for oxybutynin chloride extended-release tablets

GTL Releases Inspire® 2.0 Next-Generation Inmate Tablet

Reston, Virginia (PRNewsWire) – June 20, 2017 – GTL an innovation leader in correctional technology, education solutions that assist in rehabilitating inmates, and payment services solutions for government, today announced the official launch of the Inspire® 2.0, the company's next-generation inmate tablet.

Inspire 2.0 is a hardened inmate tablet featuring an advanced technology platform and versatile operational program. Built on an Android-based system, the tablet includes a customized multi-layered security architecture made up of five distinct elements: network security, wireless security, operating system security, hardware security, and application security. In addition, penetration testing performed by Nettitude confirmed Inspire 2.0 has a strong security posture – reinforcing GTL's approach to security.

Since Inspire content is intranet-based with access that is fully controlled by the facility and GTL, the system is designed to prevent inmate access to unauthorized features, settings, and websites. The Inspire 2.0 simultaneously affords inmates opportunities to build self-reliance and self-esteem through various offerings involving communication, education, and entertainment. Inmates can use the tablet to make phone calls, send messages, submit requests, file grievances, order commissary items, read eBooks, take educational courses, stream music, play games, and much more.

The latest GTL Inspire device is upgraded in all areas – operating system, speed, memory, resolution, and more. A new quad-core processor, in addition to four times the amount of memory of earlier versions, allows for faster device operation, improving responsiveness and the overall user experience. The device features a larger screen with higher resolution, which is important not only for entertainment and information applications but also for use in an education setting. A higher capacity battery provides longer run times for inmates, depending on application usage, and the upgraded Android operating system includes even more enhanced security features than any previous version of Inspire.

The updates to the Inspire 2.0 form factor includes a more rigid and reinforced case. "This reinforced design is drop test certified under MIL-STD-810G," said Matt Ford, Product Manager, Mobility Platforms at GTL, "We started with the idea that the tablets would be dropped and worked our way backwards to create a design that was not only functional and easy to use, but also durable."

"Many of our competitors continue to use off-the-shelf tablets and wrap them in a case," said Brian Peters, Executive Director of Inmate Applications and Hardware at GTL. "The Inspire 2.0 incorporates high temperature-rated plastics, built-in rubber bumpers, and custom charging ports – there are no micro USB chargers that inmates can use to charge contraband device. It's this thoughtfulness and attention to the smallest detail which sets GTL's inmate tablet program apart and underscores why our customers continue to push us to do more on these devices." This new industry-leading inmate device is shipping with all new customer deployments effective immediately.

GTL's entire solution suite will be showcased from June 25-27 in booth 351 at the National Sheriffs' Association's Annual Conference and Exhibition in Reno, Nevada. GTL will also have its Technology in Motion tour vehicle on display inside the exposition hall at the NSA conference. The Technology in Motion vehicle includes the latest hardware, software, and connectivity to enable comprehensive hands-on demonstrations of the full range of offerings for the corrections, education, and government sectors.

About GTLGTL leads the fields of correctional technology, education, and government payment services with visionary solutions and customized products that integrate seamlessly to deliver security, financial value, and ease of operation for its customers and aid in rehabilitation and the reduction of recidivism rates for inmates. As a trusted industry leader, GTL provides services to 32 state departments of corrections, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, the Federal Bureau of Prisons, and 79 of the 100 largest city/county facilities, including 40 of the top 50, which comprise 1.8 million inmates nationwide. To learn more about GTL, please visit www.gtl.net or our social media sites on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and YouTube.

About ConnectNetworkGTL's ConnectNetwork is the one-stop resource for friends and family members to connect with their incarcerated loved ones. Friends and family can deposit money into an inmate's accounts, schedule and conduct video visits, and send messages. To learn more about ConnectNetwork, please visit www.connectnetwork.com or social media sites on Facebook and Twitter.

Source: GTL Releases Inspire® 2.0 Next-Generation Inmate Tablet

Boyd County deputies arrest Catlettsburg man on drug charges

CATLETTSBURG, Ky. - A Catlettsburg man was arrested over the weekend after Boyd County sheriff's deputies made a controlled drug buy, according to a news release.

Paul R. Crisp, no age listed, of the 4700 block of Musser Lane, Catlettsburg, was arrested on drug trafficking charges and resisting arrest, according to the release.

Deputies reportedly bought heroin and cocaine from the suspect. Following the drug buy, deputies obtained a search warrant for the home on Musser Lane.

Authorities found additional heroin, cocaine, crack cocaine, oxycodone tablets and cash, according to the release.

Crisp was taken to King's Daughters Medical Center in Ashland for treatment of injuries sustained in the arrest, according to the release.

After being released, Crisp was transported to the Boyd County Detention Center.

Source: Boyd County deputies arrest Catlettsburg man on drug charges

Operation Snapper: PSNI release shock images as booze and 200 TABLETS seized from youths

These shocking images show just some of the alcohol removed from underage drinkers by the PSNI.

In a crackdown, police also seized more than 200 tablets, including 100 suspected tramadol pills.

It's all part of Operation Snapper, which swung into action last night with a high-profile social media campaign by the PSNI in Armagh, Banbridge and Craigavon.

Chief Inspector Jon Burrows explained: "We have spoken to dozens of young children who have been drinking very strong alcohol, we've recovered lots of alcohol and have also seized over 200 tablets.

"This alcohol and those drugs were going to be consumed by young people tonight. They are hugely vulnerable to being assaulted, to getting involved in crime and actually also being sexually assaulted.

"They also cause serious crime and disorder in communities and affect vulnerable residents. Today we are safeguarding young people but also cracking down on anti-social behaviour.

"You need to know where your children are tonight. They are often out of sight - in wooded areas, forests, parks - getting very drunk, very early in the day and they are very vulnerable to being victims of crime or being involved in crime."

As part of their operation, officers also visited Craigavon A&E, where they spoke to Consultant Gareth Hampton about the reality of drink and drugs.

Videos and pictures also showed seized alcohol being poured down drains, which included Buckfast and Jack Daniel's Whiskey.

Police also took to Facebook, following the completion of their operation.

They posted: "Due to the success of Op Snapper, and as a sign of his appreciation for your overwhelmingly supportive, kind and at times hilarious comments throughout the night, Chief Burrows would like to invite you all back to his just as soon as the shift is done.

"It would normally be BYOB, however it appears that we have all of the drink. All of it.

"If your tastes are complete ming, we can cater for you. If however you would rather drink out of the Bann than some of this little lot, you may be disappointed."

(Photo: PSNI)
Source: Operation Snapper: PSNI release shock images as booze and 200 TABLETS seized from youths

7-Inch Windows Laptop / Ubuntu Laptop GPD Pocket 7 w/ 8GB RAM Release For Non-Crowdfunders

The GPD Pocket 7 is a 7-inch Windows laptop and Ubuntu laptop that was crowdfunded during the spring to great success. The first backers in the crowdfunding have now received their units from the first round of release already, but now the GPD Pocket is taking regular orders in stores too, ahead of the new batch release coming up soon: http://promotion.geekbuying.com/promotion/gpd_pocket

A lot of peope have called this the world's smallest laptop or Windows laptop, but take into consideration that GPD also has a 5.5-inch Windows laptop in the GPD Win. Now that would be the world's smallest Windows 10 laptop.

But of course, at 7 inches, the new GPD Pocket 7 is very small, yet it still packs as much as 8GB of RAM, and even has a cooling fan. Main hardware consists of an Intel Atom x7-Z8750 processor, 8GB LPDDR3 RAM at 1600 MHz, and 128GB of eMMC storage.

GPD Pocket 7

And while the GPD Pocket is not a tablet or detachable in any way, the 7-inch screen is a touchscreen. It even has Full HD 1920 x 1200 resolution and it's protected by Gorilla Glass 3.

GPD Pocket has full Wi-Fi cover too with dual-band 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac Wi-Fi, and Bluetooth 4.1. Ports also counts a USB 3.0 Type-C port, as well as a USB 3.0 Type-A, HDMI port, and audio jack.

Battery life is 12 hours says GPD, but the size is 7000 mAh. The keyboard is a full QWERTY keyboard, and because of the little space on the keyboard, there's no touchpad/trackpad there, but a red TrackPoint mouse pointer controller instead.

The case material is mainly magnesium alloy, but even so it still weighs 480 grams, because of the keyboard, colling fan, and RAM. And finally it's 18.5mm thick.

So quite a bit thicker than a tablet, but then again the only 7-inch Windows tablet available these days is the Cube WP10, which certainly isn't equipped with 8GB of RAM.

– Jim Miller

Related Tablets: 7-Inch and 10-Inch Kodak Tablets With Android... 8-Inch 4G LTE Android 7.0 Tablet Huawei Media... 7-Inch Android 7.0 Nougat Tablet Dynasty ZD71... Asus Transformer Pro (T304UA) Released In The...
Source: 7-Inch Windows Laptop / Ubuntu Laptop GPD Pocket 7 w/ 8GB RAM Release For Non-Crowdfunders

iPad Pro: release date, price and specs: iPad Pro 10.5in unveiled at WWDC 2017

iPad Pro at a glance:

12.9in and 10.5in corner-to-corner screens, 10-hour battery life

Stylus and detachable keyboard cover return, with new cover colours

Features top of the line A10X Fusion processor, offering "desktop class" performance

Available in Gold, Silver, Space Grey and Rose Gold

Pricing starts from £619 before VAT

IT Pro's review of the previous iPad generation is available here

Jump to:

Head here for the new 2017 range.

iPad Pro Launch date

The refreshed 2017 range of iPad Pros was revealed at WWDC on 5 June, and was immediately available for purchase through Apple's online store. 

iPad Pro Price

The new iPad Pro price in the UK is as follows:

10.5in WiFi 4G 64GB £619 £749 256GB £709 £839 512GB £889 £1,019 12.9in WiFi 4G 64GB £769 £899 256GB £859 £989 512GB £1,039 £1,169 iPad Pro features and accessories Memory 64GB/256GB/512GB   Processor A10X Fusion 64-bit with embedded M10 coprocessor Battery Lithium-polymer, up to 10 hours Connectivity WiFi only/WiFi + LTE (4G)

Display

The range includes refreshed 12.9in and 10.5in models. The 10.5in version features a 20% larger screen than the previous generation 9.7in model, however borders have been cut down by 40%, resulting in a lighter device. 

The iPad 12.9in features a display of 2,732×2,048, while the 10.5in uses a 2,224x1,668 resolution. Both screens have a pixel density of 264ppi, and utilise Apple's new ProMotion technology. This allows for a maximum refresh rate of 120Hz that dynamically adjusts to 48Hz or 24Hz, depending on the task. 

This, the company says, allows the screen to deliver "fluid scrolling, greater responsiveness and smoother motion content".

Both models also feature a 'wide colour display' with a fully laminated, anti-reflective coating. 

Operating system

The tablets currently run on the latest version of iOS 10 (10.2.1 at the time of writing). However Apple revealed at WWDC 2017 that iOS 11 would be releasing later in the year and will be available on the new iPad range. 

Camera

One area the iPad Pro doesn't lag behind in comparison to other similar-specced tablets is the camera set-up. It features a main iSight camera on the back with a 12-megapixel sensor, while the front-mounted snapper boasts 7-megapixels.

However it's the rear-mounted camera that turns the iPad Pro into a more serious imaging device, despite its size.

With an aperture of ƒ/1.8 and a digital zoom up to 5x, it takes crisp shots, even if you decide to zoom in a little and get closer to the action. To make those crisp images even sharper, it features optical image stabilisation and  if you're taking pictures in rather dismal conditions, its quad-LED flash will ensure there's at least some definition. To improve the photos before they head to your album, Apple has included its HDR tech to even out lights and darks, creating a much better balanced shot.

You'll also find timer and burst mode onboard, alongside body and face detection and an impressive colour range to make pictures more vivid.

For video, you'll find 4K capabilities at a rate of 30fps, 1080p HD at a rate of 30fps or 60fps and 720p at 30fps with the rear camera. For those that want to try out some of the slow motion video skills as seen on the iPhone, the iPad Pro supports that too.

The rear facing camera doesn't scrimp on video either though, offering up 1080p HD video with some of the main camera features such as burst mode, timer mode, and exposure controls for making sure the pictures are balanced. HDR is turned on by default, while Live Photos are made more vibrant with improved colour balance.

Accessories

Once again the iPad Pro features the Apple Pencil and Smart cover, only this time with a refreshed colour range and a leather sleeve for the stylus. 

The Apple Pencil now boasts an impressive 20ms latency, but otherwise remains unchanged since the previous generation.

Apple's Smart cover range now has some new colour options, including pink 'Flamingo' and yellow 'Pollen'.

The detachable keyboard is also compatible with the newest iPad range.  

Will it be a success?

The strategy of launching a larger tablet has been attributed to the unprecedented popularity of the iPhone 6 Plus phablet, set to be repeated with the release of the 6s Plus and wider trends that indicate consumers favour devices with larger screens in general.

The tablet market has been an unreliable source of revenue for Apple, with increased competition and the revelation that consumers do not buy a new tablet as often as they might do a smartphone, meaning that iPad sales are not as high as expected.

Gartner research director, Ranjit Atwal, said: "The device market continues to evolve, with the relationship between traditional PCs, different form factor ultramobiles and mobile phones becoming increasingly complex.

"Some tablet users are not replacing a tablet with a tablet, they are favouring a hybrid or two-in-one devices, increasing its share of the ultramobile premium market to 22 per cent in 2014, and 32 per cent by 2018," he added.

According to Apple's Q2 2017 financial results, the company continued to see falling sales in its iPad range, shipping 8.9 million devices and generating $3.8 billion, which was down from 10.2 million during the same period of 2016.

Source: iPad Pro: release date, price and specs: iPad Pro 10.5in unveiled at WWDC 2017

Emergency Reporting Partners with Halligan for Mobile Truck Checks by Phone or Tablet

Bellingham, WA - Emergency Reporting (ER), a leading provider of Fire & EMS records management software headquartered in Bellingham, WA, announces a new partnership with Halligan, the innovative solution for mobile truck checks and work order management. The integration will save fire departments money and time with apparatus checks, real-time notifications, budget-balancing analytics, configurable checklists and secure check histories for every piece of equipment in the fleet.

"We're excited about our partnership with Halligan. The integration with their mobile app allows us to offer customers a new technology that complements and extends our existing capabilities," says David Nokes, Sr. Director, Strategic Alliances, Emergency Reporting. "This seamless interface is a great example of how the ER platform provides agencies with complete solutions for reliable, secure records management."

Officers now have better command of their stations with the tools to stay more informed and maintain better control. Firefighters are more efficient and trucks are always ready to roll.

"Halligan brings the first native mobile application for truck checks to the first responder community," says Alex Montgomery, Co-Founder and CEO, Halligan. "Halligan is quickly becoming a leading truck check solution for both paid and volunteer departments. Firefighters love it because it's easier to do their checks holding a phone or tablet than a piece of paper, pen and clipboard. Officers gain visibility into their fleet and equipment. Halligan solves the entire workflow from identifying issues to the resolution. Partnering with Emergency Reporting means departments can leverage Halligan's powerful truck checks and work orders while still having all their data live in their primary record management system."

With the integration, fire departments can digitally maintain inventory and generate professional reports with the push of a button. Fire personnel can send and receive work order repair messages right from the app. Critical equipment service information can easily be shared with mechanics, dispatch, chiefs, captains and others.

As ER customer Chris Patti, a Lieutenant with the McLane/Black Lake Fire Department in Olympia, WA, states, "I like having the ability to bring over our tracked equipment from ER and see that data in our apparatus checks, complete our checks via web browser or the mobile app, and create a maintenance request automatically in ER based on our settings in Halligan. This not only fills a long-time gap in our maintenance tracking process, it provides us the means to fulfill the requirement of our ISO rating by tracking any issues more in-depth at our sub-stations."

The app is native iOS/Android. For additional information including pricing, a demo, or a free trial, visit: http://info.emergencyreporting.com/halliganFor a Halligan "Product Tour," watch the one-minute video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpirQbFOe4M.

About Emergency ReportingEmergency Reporting is a privately held Washington State corporation specializing in Cloud-based records management software solutions for Fire/Rescue and EMS agencies of all sizes, DoD/military branches worldwide, and large entities with self-contained Fire & EMS services like NASA, nuclear power plants, hospitals, and oil refineries. For more information, see www.emergencyreporting.com.About HalliganHalligan is the easy and secure solution paid and volunteer fire departments across the nation trust for truck checks. With features ranging from apparatus checks, work orders, equipment management and budgeting, Halligan saves money while saving time. Complete mobile first truck checks from iOS, Android devices or web browsers. Learn more at www.halligan.io or on Instagram at @halligan.io.

Source: Emergency Reporting Partners with Halligan for Mobile Truck Checks by Phone or Tablet

Alembic Pharma receives USFDA approval for Candesartan Cilexetil Tablets 32mg

With reference to the captioned subject, this is to inform the exchange that the Company has received US Food & Drug Administration (USFDA) approval for Candesartan Cilexetil Tablets 32mg. Please find enclosed herewith our press release.

We request you to kindly take the same on record.

Thanking you,

Yours faithfully,For Alembic Pharmaceuticals Limited

R. K. BahetiDirector – Finance & CFO

Encl.: A/a.Source : BSE

Source: Alembic Pharma receives USFDA approval for Candesartan Cilexetil Tablets 32mg

Neos Therapeutics Says ADHD Drug Cotempla XR-ODT Gets FDA Approval

(RTTNews.com) - Neos Therapeutics, Inc. ( NEOS ), a pharmaceutical company focused on extended-release or XR products, announced Tuesday that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved Cotempla XR-ODT.

It is the first and only methylphenidate extended-release orally disintegrating tablet for the treatment of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or ADHD in patients 6 to 17 years old.

The company noted that Cotempla XR-ODT will be commercially available in a portable, child-resistant blister pack in the fall of 2017.

Cotempla XR-ODT and Adzenys XR-ODT are Schedule II controlled substances.

Vipin Garg, President and CEO of Neos Therapeutics, said, "With this approval, Neos will be the only company to have both a branded methylphenidate and a branded amphetamine product available in an extended-release orally disintegrating tablet dosage form. We look forward to having Cotempla XR-ODT join our Adzenys XR-ODT (amphetamine) extended-release orally disintegrating tablets on the market this fall."

On Nasdaq, Neos shares gained 4.05 percent in the regular trading and settled at $9. In the after hours, the shares meanwhile declined 7.8 percent to $8.30.

For comments and feedback: contact editorial@rttnews.com

http://www.rttnews.com

Source: Neos Therapeutics Says ADHD Drug Cotempla XR-ODT Gets FDA Approval

Theophylline sustained release tablets

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Simbans released a 10 Inch Android Tablet with Pen for Artists and Students

Simbans has come up with a most affordable drawing tablet for parents and educators who have been exploring the use of such tablet but held back due to perceived costs.

Simbans today announced the release of PicassoTab 10 Inch Android Tablet that comes with a Pen – a most affordable option for anyone who is looking for a decent tablet to draw, take notes, surf the internet, play games and stream Netflix.

"There are lot of affordable android tablets in the market but none of them are good for writing unless you are willing to pay big bucks," said Vipan Kumar, Vice President of Technology for Simbans "We had few schools approached us for a solution last year and it took us 8 months to achieve this price point"

PicassoTab features a beautiful 10 inch IPS display and fast 1.3 GHz MediaTek quad-core processor with rear and front-facing cameras. It is ideal for drawing diagrams and taking notes in the classroom with Simbans Active Pen. It also comes with Autodesk Sketchbook app pre-installed so artists can draw and save their creativity on the go.

For entertainment, many games or apps can be downloaded from Google Play Store which is already installed on the tablet. It has a mini-HDMI port for connecting the tablet to the TV for watching Netflix movies on the big screen.

The retail box includes the Simbans 10 inch PicassoTab (32GB), an Active Pen with palm rejection, high quality leather case, universal power adapter and pre-applied screen protector.

The tablet is available in United States, Canada, UK and Europe on Amazon as well as at Simbans Website.

About Simbans

Simbans manufacturers affordable electronics and educational toys for schools and have received the highest ratings on Amazon for the product quality and customer service.

Since 2012, our focus has been on providing incredible products at affordable prices. We offer our customers a higher level of service and support they just won't find anywhere else and our commitment to customer satisfaction shows in everything we do and every product we sell.

Source: Simbans released a 10 Inch Android Tablet with Pen for Artists and Students

Tablet-Related Issue Prompts Recall of Antipsychotic Agent

To date, no post-marketing adverse events have been reported regarding lack of efficacy with the recalled lot

Teva Pharmaceuticals is recalling one lot of Paliperidone Extended-Release Tablets 3mg, the generic version of Janssen's Invega due to failing test results for dissolution.

The affected product has Lot #1160682A and an expiration date of 6/2018. It was distributed under the Actavis Pharma Inc. label between December 12, 2016 to March 16, 2017 in 90-count bottles; the company reported 360 bottles were sold. 

Paliperidone is an atypical antipsychotic indicated for the treatment of schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorders. Consuming a drug that has failed dissolution can lead to reduced drug absorption. If two or more consecutive doses include the affected product, therapeutic levels may not be maintained and may result in a resurgence of symptoms (eg, suicidal thoughts/behavior, self-injurious behavior, mental hospitalizations, assaults, aggression, vocal/motor tics). 

To date, no post-marketing adverse events have been reported with regards to lack of effica cy associated with the recalled lot. 

Adverse events or quality complaints may be reported to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA)'s MedWatch Adverse Event Reporting program.

Source: Tablet-Related Issue Prompts Recall of Antipsychotic Agent

BRIEF-Mayne Pharma updates on FDA approval and first generic launch of Acticlate tablets

Mayne Pharma Group Ltd:

* FDA approval and first generic launch of acticlate tablets

* U.S. FDA granted approval of ANDA for doxycycline hyclate immediate release (IR) tablets (75 MG AND 150 MG) in United States

* Mayne Pharma has immediately commenced commercial launch to customers in U.S. Source text for Eikon: Further company coverage:

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Source: BRIEF-Mayne Pharma updates on FDA approval and first generic launch of Acticlate tablets

Glenmark Pharma receives tentative ANDA approval for Saxagliptin tablets

Sub:- Glenmark Pharmaceuticals receives tentative ANDA approval for Saxagliptin Tablets, 2.5 mg and 5 mg

With reference to the subject mentioned above, kindly find attached media release which is self-explanatory.

Request you to kindly take the same on record.Source : BSE

Source: Glenmark Pharma receives tentative ANDA approval for Saxagliptin tablets

Zydus receives final approval from USFDA for Ezetimibe tablets USP

Jun 13, 2017 10:04 AM IST | Source: Moneycontrol.com

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Source: Zydus receives final approval from USFDA for Ezetimibe tablets USP

Samsung Notebook 9 Pro With Built-In S Pen Taking Pre-Orders Today – Release June 26

The two brand new Samsung Notebook 9 Pro convertibles / laptops at 13.3 and 15 inches started taking pre-orders today, with the release date set to June 26 in the US. Samsung Notebook 9 Pro is only available from Best Buy:http://www.bestbuy.com/site/samsung-13-3-touch-screen-laptop-intel-core-i7http://www.bestbuy.com/site/samsung-15-touch-screen-laptop-intel-core-i7-16gb

Samsung Notebook 9 Pro was unveiled just a few days ago, at COMPUTEX in Taiwan on May 30. It has a couple of stand out features as well as features that blurs out the difference between tablets and laptops.

It's a fully revolving laptop, with a touchscreen that has active digitizer support for the integrated pen that fits into the computer, with 4096 pressure levels of sensitivity, and tilt support for the pen, a professional grade color accurate display, and high performance.

And this is even a laptop that can be charged by a portable power bank, just like a tablet or smartphone can.

Samsung Notebook 9 Pro

The 13.3-inch Samsung Notebook 9 Pro has 8GB DDR4 RAM and an Intel HD Graphics 620 GPU, while the 15-inch Samsung Notebook 9 Pro has 16GB of DDR4 RAM, and an AMD Radeo 540 GPU with its own 2GB DDR5 RAM. Other than that, they share the same specs, including the same 1920 x 1080 resolution display.

They run Windows 10 Home, and are powered by the 2.7 GHz Intel Core i7-7500U "Kaby Lake" processor, with 256GB of SSD storage. All the modern features are there, such as front IR camera for facial login, a 720p HD front camera, a USB Type-C port, 2x USB 3.0 ports, a HDMI port, fast charge, a backlit keyboard, complete Wi-Fi cover, and two decent 1.5 Watt stereo speakers.

The RealView displays are good and have a maximum brightness of 450 nits, so these laptops can be used outdoors.

– Tom Bowen

Related Tablets: Samsung Galaxy Tab S3 Cut By $100 After Apple... Samsung Galaxy Book 10.6 Release May 21 - The... Samsung Galaxy Book 12 Now Taking Orders - In... Samsung Galaxy Book 12 And 10.6 Pre-Orders Fr...
Source: Samsung Notebook 9 Pro With Built-In S Pen Taking Pre-Orders Today – Release June 26

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DEVELOPING: CNN, WaPo, NYT anonymous sources say Vladimir Putin may have ties to Russia

BREAKING: Manning and Snowden have come out with strong condemnation of Donald Trump leaking classified information to Russia

Gun store goes into lockdown over report an "active university professor" roving the grounds

Dozens injured at Ralph Lauren & Louis Vuitton headquarters after Ivanka calls in missile strikes on rival fashion houses

BOMBSHELL: Evidence proves Donald Trump conspired with his campaign to defeat Hillary Clinton

University ranked "very intolerant of free speech" fights the accusation by banning the study and all involved

Concerned that Russians don't consume enough alcohol in the month of March, Russia's Orthodox Church makes St. Patrick's Day​ official holiday

Grassroots group calls for "The Million Regulators March" on Washington, supported by all who fear the loss of their betters telling them what to do

Experts: Starbucks CEO Schultz's hiring of 10,000 Muslim refugees likely to blow up in his face

Will the groundprog be frightened by its own shadow and hide - or will there be another season of insane protests?

Trump signs executive order making California and New York national monuments; residents have two days to vacate

Women's March against fascism completed with 400,000 fewer deaths than anticipated

Feminist historians uncover ghastly concentration camps where so-called "housewives" were forced to live inauthentic lives slaving away in kitchens

Dictionary of the future: Global Warming was a popular computer simulation game, where the only way to win was not to play

"Anti-fascist" groups violently protest misspelling of their original name, "aren't-we-fascists"

Post-inauguration blues: millions of democrats distraught as the reality of having to find real jobs sets in

"Journalism is the continuation of war by other means" is exposed as a fake quote by mainstream media journalists

Congressional Democrats: "We cannot just simply replace Obamacare with freedom because then millions of Americans will suddenly become free"

Schoolchildren jailed for building only white snowmen

Obama's reckless attacks on Russia serve as recruitment tool to create more Russian hackers

Hillary: "I lost, so I'm going to follow our democratic traditions, poison the wells, and scorch the earth"

Children in Venezuela cook and eat their Christmas toys

Hillary: "I can hack Russia from my bathroom"

Hillary suggests to counter "fake news" with government newspaper called "Truth" ("Pravda" for Russian speakers)

BREAKING: Millions of uncounted votes found on Hillary's private voting machine in her Chappaqua bathroom

New York Times: Fidel Castro world's sexiest corpse

After years of trial and error, CIA finally succeeds with the "waiting it out" technique on Fidel Castro

Post-election shopping tip: look for the PoliticsFree label at your local grocer to make sure you don't buy from companies that don't want your business anymore

In Hillary's America, email server scrubs you

Obama transfers his Nobel Peace Prize to anti-Trump rioters

Democrats blame Hillary's criminal e-mail server for her loss, demand it face prison

Afraid of "dangerous" Trump presidency, protesters pre-emptively burn America down to the ground

Clinton Foundation in foreclosure as foreign donors demand refunds

Hillary Clinton blames YouTube video for unexpected and spontaneous voter uprising that prevented her inevitable move into the White House

Sudden rise in sea levels explained by disproportionately large tears shed by climate scientists in the aftermath of Trump's electoral victory

FBI director Comey delighted after receiving Nobel Prize for Speed Reading (650,000 emails in one week)

U.N. deploys troops to American college campuses in order to combat staggeringly low rape rates

Responding to Trump's surging poll numbers, Obama preemptively pardons himself for treason

Following hurricane Matthew's failure to devastate Florida, activists flock to the Sunshine State and destroy Trump signs manually

Tim Kaine takes credit for interrupting hurricane Matthew while debating weather in Florida

Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote

The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

Breaking: the Clinton Foundation set to investigate the FBI

Obama ​​captures rare Pokémon ​​while visiting Hiroshima

Movie news: 'The Big Friendly Giant Government' flops at box office; audiences say "It's creepy"

Barack Obama: "If I had a son, he'd look like Micah Johnson"

White House edits Orlando 911 transcript to say shooter pledged allegiance to NRA and Republican Party

President George Washington: 'Redcoats do not represent British Empire; King George promotes a distorted version of British colonialism'

Following Obama's 'Okie-Doke' speech, stock of Okie-Doke soars; NASDAQ: 'Obama best Okie-Doke salesman'

Weaponized baby formula threatens Planned Parenthood office; ACLU demands federal investigation of Gerber

Experts: melting Antarctic glacier could cause sale levels to rise up to 80% off select items by this weekend

Travel advisory: airlines now offering flights to front of TSA line

As Obama instructs his administration to get ready for presidential transition, Trump preemptively purchases 'T' keys for White House keyboards

John Kasich self-identifies as GOP primary winner, demands access to White House bathroom

Upcoming Trump/Kelly interview on FoxNews sponsored by 'Let's Make a Deal' and 'The Price is Right'

News from 2017: once the evacuation of Lena Dunham and 90% of other Hollywood celebrities to Canada is confirmed, Trump resigns from presidency: "My work here is done"

Non-presidential candidate Paul Ryan pledges not to run for president in new non-presidential non-ad campaign

Trump suggests creating 'Muslim database'; Obama symbolically protests by shredding White House guest logs beginning 2009

National Enquirer: John Kasich's real dad was the milkman, not mailman

National Enquirer: Bound delegates from Colorado, Wyoming found in Ted Cruz's basement

Iran breaks its pinky-swear promise not to support terrorism; US State Department vows rock-paper-scissors strategic response

Women across the country cheer as racist Democrat president on $20 bill is replaced by black pro-gun Republican

Federal Reserve solves budget crisis by writing itself a 20-trillion-dollar check

Widows, orphans claim responsibility for Brussels airport bombing

Che Guevara's son hopes Cuba's communism will rub off on US, proposes a long list of people the government should execute first

Susan Sarandon: "I don't vote with my vagina." Voters in line behind her still suspicious, use hand sanitizer

Campaign memo typo causes Hillary to court 'New Black Panties' vote

New Hampshire votes for socialist Sanders, changes state motto to "Live FOR Free or Die"

Martin O'Malley drops out of race after Iowa Caucus; nation shocked with revelation he has been running for president

Statisticians: one out of three Bernie Sanders supporters is just as dumb as the other two

Hillary campaign denies accusations of smoking-gun evidence in her emails, claims they contain only smoking-circumstantial-gun evidence

Obama stops short of firing US Congress upon realizing the difficulty of assembling another group of such tractable yes-men

In effort to contol wild passions for violent jihad, White House urges gun owners to keep their firearms covered in gun burkas

TV horror live: A Charlie Brown Christmas gets shot up on air by Mohammed cartoons

Democrats vow to burn the country down over Ted Cruz statement, 'The overwhelming majority of violent criminals are Democrats'

Russia's trend to sign bombs dropped on ISIS with "This is for Paris" found response in Obama administration's trend to sign American bombs with "Return to sender"

University researchers of cultural appropriation quit upon discovery that their research is appropriation from a culture that created universities

Archeologists discover remains of what Barack Obama has described as unprecedented, un-American, and not-who-we-are immigration screening process in Ellis Island

Mizzou protests lead to declaring entire state a "safe space," changing Missouri motto to "The don't show me state"

Green energy fact: if we put all green energy subsidies together in one-dollar bills and burn them, we could generate more electricity than has been produced by subsidized green energy

State officials improve chances of healthcare payouts by replacing ObamaCare with state lottery

NASA's new mission to search for racism, sexism, and economic inequality in deep space suffers from race, gender, and class power struggles over multibillion-dollar budget

College progress enforcement squads issue schematic humor charts so students know if a joke may be spontaneously laughed at or if regulations require other action

ISIS opens suicide hotline for US teens depressed by climate change and other progressive doomsday scenarios

Virginia county to close schools after teacher asks students to write 'death to America' in Arabic

'Wear hijab to school day' ends with spontaneous female circumcision and stoning of a classmate during lunch break

ISIS releases new, even more barbaric video in an effort to regain mantle from Planned Parenthood

Impressed by Fox News stellar rating during GOP debates, CNN to use same formula on Democrat candidates asking tough, pointed questions about Republicans

Shocking new book explores pros and cons of socialism, discovers they are same people

Pope outraged by Planned Parenthood's "unfettered capitalism," demands equal redistribution of baby parts to each according to his need

John Kerry accepts Iran's "Golden Taquiyya" award, requests jalapenos on the side

Citizens of Pluto protest US government's surveillance of their planetoid and its moons with New Horizons space drone

John Kerry proposes 3-day waiting period for all terrorist nations trying to acquire nuclear weapons

Chicago Police trying to identify flag that caused nine murders and 53 injuries in the city this past weekend

Cuba opens to affordable medical tourism for Americans who can't afford Obamacare deductibles

State-funded research proves existence of Quantum Aggression Particles (Heterons) in Large Hadron Collider

Student job opportunities: make big bucks this summer as Hillary's Ordinary-American; all expenses paid, travel, free acting lessons

Experts debate whether Iranian negotiators broke John Kerry's leg or he did it himself to get out of negotiations

Junior Varsity takes Ramadi, advances to quarterfinals

US media to GOP pool of candidates: 'Knowing what we know now, would you have had anything to do with the founding of the United States?'

NY Mayor to hold peace talks with rats, apologize for previous Mayor's cowboy diplomacy

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine

Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET

Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths

Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise

Police: If Obama had a convenience store, it would look like Obama Express Food Market

Study finds stunning lack of racial, gender, and economic diversity among middle-class white males

NASA: We're 80% sure about being 20% sure about being 17% sure about being 38% sure about 2014 being the hottest year on record

People holding '$15 an Hour Now' posters sue Democratic party demanding raise to $15 an hour for rendered professional protesting services

Cuba-US normalization: US tourists flock to see Cuba before it looks like the US and Cubans flock to see the US before it looks like Cuba

White House describes attacks on Sony Pictures as 'spontaneous hacking in response to offensive video mocking Juche and its prophet'

CIA responds to Democrat calls for transparency by releasing the director's cut of The Making Of Obama's Birth Certificate

Obama: 'If I had a city, it would look like Ferguson'

Biden: 'If I had a Ferguson (hic), it would look like a city'

Obama signs executive order renaming 'looters' to 'undocumented shoppers'

Ethicists agree: two wrongs do make a right so long as Bush did it first

The aftermath of the 'War on Women 2014' finds a new 'Lost Generation' of disillusioned Democrat politicians, unable to cope with life out of office

White House: Republican takeover of the Senate is a clear mandate from the American people for President Obama to rule by executive orders

Nurse Kaci Hickox angrily tells reporters that she won't change her clocks for daylight savings time

Democratic Party leaders in panic after recent poll shows most Democratic voters think 'midterm' is when to end pregnancy

Desperate Democratic candidates plead with Obama to stop backing them and instead support their GOP opponents

Ebola Czar issues five-year plan with mandatory quotas of Ebola infections per each state based on voting preferences

Study: crony capitalism is to the free market what the Westboro Baptist Church is to Christianity

Fun facts about world languages: the Left has more words for statism than the Eskimos have for snow

African countries to ban all flights from the United States because "Obama is incompetent, it scares us"

Nobel Peace Prize controversy: Hillary not nominated despite having done even less than Obama to deserve it

Obama: 'Ebola is the JV of viruses'

BREAKING: Secret Service foils Secret Service plot to protect Obama

Revised 1st Amendment: buy one speech, get the second free

Sharpton calls on white NFL players to beat their women in the interests of racial fairness

President Obama appoints his weekly approval poll as new national security adviser

Obama wags pen and phone at Putin; Europe offers support with powerful pens and phones from NATO members

White House pledges to embarrass ISIS back to the Stone Age with a barrage of fearsome Twitter messages and fatally ironic Instagram photos

Obama to fight ISIS with new federal Terrorist Regulatory Agency

Obama vows ISIS will never raise their flag over the eighteenth hole

Harry Reid: "Sometimes I say the wong thing"

Elian Gonzalez wishes he had come to the U.S. on a bus from Central America like all the other kids

Obama visits US-Mexican border, calls for a two-state solution

Obama draws "blue line" in Iraq after Putin took away his red crayon

"Hard Choices," a porno flick loosely based on Hillary Clinton's memoir and starring Hillary Hellfire as a drinking, whoring Secretary of State, wildly outsells the flabby, sagging original

Accusations of siding with the enemy leave Sgt. Bergdahl with only two options: pursue a doctorate at Berkley or become a Senator from Massachusetts

Jay Carney stuck in line behind Eric Shinseki to leave the White House; estimated wait time from 15 min to 6 weeks

100% of scientists agree that if man-made global warming were real, "the last people we'd want to help us is the Obama administration"

Jay Carney says he found out that Obama found out that he found out that Obama found out that he found out about the latest Obama administration scandal on the news

"Anarchy Now!" meeting turns into riot over points of order, bylaws, and whether or not 'kicking the #^@&*! ass' of the person trying to speak is or is not violence

Obama retaliates against Putin by prohibiting unionized federal employees from dating hot Russian girls online during work hours

Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive YouTube video showing the toppling of Lenin statues

"Free Speech Zones" confuse Obamaphone owners who roam streets in search of additional air minutes

Obamacare bolsters employment for professionals with skills to convert meth back into sudafed

Gloves finally off: Obama uses pen and phone to cancel Putin's Netflix account

Joe Biden to Russia: "We will bury you by turning more of Eastern Europe over to your control!"

In last-ditch effort to help Ukraine, Obama deploys Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jackson's Rainbow Coalition to Crimea

Al Sharpton: "Not even Putin can withstand our signature chanting, 'racist, sexist, anti-gay, Russian army go away'!"

Mardi Gras in North Korea: "Throw me some food!"

Obama's foreign policy works: "War, invasion, and conquest are signs of weakness; we've got Putin right where we want him"

US offers military solution to Ukraine crisis: "We will only fight countries that have LGBT military"

Putin annexes Brighton Beach to protect ethnic Russians in Brooklyn, Obama appeals to UN and EU for help

The 1980s: "Mr. Obama, we're just calling to ask if you want our foreign policy back. The 1970s are right here with us, and they're wondering, too."

In a stunning act of defiance, Obama courageously unfriends Putin on Facebook

MSNBC: Obama secures alliance with Austro-Hungarian Empire against Russia's aggression in Ukraine

Study: springbreak is to STDs what April 15th is to accountants

Efforts to achieve moisture justice for California thwarted by unfair redistribution of snow in America

North Korean voters unanimous: "We are the 100%"

Leader of authoritarian gulag-site, The People's Cube, unanimously 're-elected' with 100% voter turnout

Super Bowl: Obama blames Fox News for Broncos' loss

Feminist author slams gay marriage: "a man needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"

Beverly Hills campaign heats up between Henry Waxman and Marianne Williamson over the widening income gap between millionaires and billionaires in their district

Biden to lower $10,000-a-plate Dinner For The Homeless to $5,000 so more homeless can attend

Kim becomes world leader, feeds uncle to dogs; Obama eats dogs, becomes world leader, America cries uncle

North Korean leader executes own uncle for talking about Obamacare at family Christmas party

White House hires part-time schizophrenic Mandela sign interpreter to help sell Obamacare

Kim Jong Un executes own "crazy uncle" to keep him from ruining another family Christmas

OFA admits its advice for area activists to give Obamacare Talk at shooting ranges was a bad idea

President resolves Obamacare debacle with executive order declaring all Americans equally healthy

Obama to Iran: "If you like your nuclear program, you can keep your nuclear program"

Bovine community outraged by flatulence coming from Washington DC

Obama: "I'm not particularly ideological; I believe in a good pragmatic five-year plan"

Shocker: Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week

Server problems at HealthCare.gov so bad, it now flashes 'Error 808' message

NSA marks National Best Friend Day with official announcement: "Government is your best friend; we know you like no one else, we're always there, we're always willing to listen"

Al Qaeda cancels attack on USA citing launch of Obamacare as devastating enough

The President's latest talking point on Obamacare: "I didn't build that"

Dizzy with success, Obama renames his wildly popular healthcare mandate to HillaryCare

Carney: huge ObamaCare deductibles won't look as bad come hyperinflation

Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans

Poll: 83% of Americans favor cowboy diplomacy over rodeo clown diplomacy

GOVERNMENT WARNING: If you were able to complete ObamaCare form online, it wasn't a legitimate gov't website; you should report online fraud and change all your passwords

Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare

Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria

Sharpton: "British royals should have named baby 'Trayvon.' By choosing 'George' they sided with white Hispanic racist Zimmerman"

DNC launches 'Carlos Danger' action figure; proceeds to fund a charity helping survivors of the Republican War on Women

Nancy Pelosi extends abortion rights to the birds and the bees

Hubble discovers planetary drift to the left

Obama: 'If I had a daughter-in-law, she would look like Rachael Jeantel'

FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp

Every time ObamaCare gets delayed, a Julia somewhere dies

GOP to Schumer: 'Force full implementation of ObamaCare before 2014 or Dems will never win another election'

Obama: 'If I had a son... no, wait, my daughter can now marry a woman!'

Janet Napolitano: TSA findings reveal that since none of the hijackers were babies, elderly, or Tea Partiers, 9/11 was not an act of terrorism

News Flash: Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota

Susan Rice: IRS actions against tea parties caused by anti-tax YouTube video that was insulting to their faith

Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page

Obama: the IRS is a constitutional right, just like the Second Amendment

White House: top Obama officials using secret email accounts a result of bad IT advice to avoid spam mail from Nigeria

Jay Carney to critics: 'Pinocchio never said anything inconsistent'

Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins

Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: mainstream media's worst cover-up challenge to date

IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history

After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot

Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'

Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program

US Media: Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?

Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy

This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester

White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras

Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse

Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school

Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition

Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State

Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'

Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'

Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested

Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead

Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending

Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances

Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons

Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago

Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections

Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country

Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'

White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out

New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen

White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class

To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead

State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations

Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward

President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward

Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects

World ends; S&P soars

Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood

Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes

Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway

Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013

Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama

As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list

Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves

Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium

Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future

Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs

Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet

Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'

Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties

Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years

Obama attends church service, worships self

Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending

Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"

Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh

Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"

Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness

Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears

Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke

Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights

Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'

Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"

Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't

Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost

Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space

Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck

White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus

Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed

Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"

Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere

Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"

Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college

Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!

Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'

Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'

Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome

People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies

Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"

Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans

Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law

Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond

Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics

Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof

Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels

Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party

Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend

May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above

Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"

Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name

Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich

Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag

Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"

Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory

Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off

Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"

Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed

White House: "Let them eat statistics"

Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama

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